"…and not for five minutes will I be distracted from the wonder…"

6 days of rain, pt. 2

Uncategorized — d-ashes on February 27, 2004 at 7:53 pm

one intriguing aspect of chaos is the systems of order that we place upon it…creating signposts for the road as you travel on it leads to some interesting turns, for sure…or consider living and its nuances a deck of cards…shuffle it and the cards are in a particular order…turn each of them over one by one and you begin to observe that order…two 8’s in a row…a club, a diamond, then another club and another diamond directly following them…no matter how you shuffle them, the cards have some order that becomes recognizable, though any pattern you assign to their turning is the result of chance and chaos…the question is, how often do you shuffle the deck?…

i, personally, for good or ill, think i shuffle the deck multiple times a day…in part it’s a defense against the possibility that at any point and time the deck could be taken from me and flung in the air…i short circuit that possibility by continually engaging myself in a game of 52 card pickup…it’s at times a trying game/philosophy, but it is rarely boring…

(5) friday (the 13th)
i had stayed at hollie and brian’s and awoke after unremembered but engaging dreams…the rain was up to its old trick, beating a steady time that was becoming a bit unnerving considering the number of days that it had kept it up…i was all fired up to take a shower and get the previous night’s grime removed, so i threw my shoes on my bare feet and without taking my jacket grabbed my keys to get my backpack out of the car…hollie and brian’s front door will open kindly for you, but shut it and it’s automatically locked…so was the back door…so friday the 13th began with me sockless, jacketless, walletless, and phoneless standing in a cold rain…had i not had my keys it would have been a minor catastrophe…it didn’t take long to weigh my options…i just figured i would head to work unshowered and without a jacket, which was not so pleasant in the cold drizzle…thankfully i had another pair of socks in my backpack, so i didn’t have to go sockless, which wouldn’t have been too comfortable in my old leather shoes that haven’t had insoles for a number of years…

we’d been given strong hints that friday was going to be the day for us to start getting into the new building just north of banner hall…almost 2 years of planning and 2 months of construction had finally culminated in bobby and i having our own building to work in…part office, bookstore and event space, the thing was empty, save for the counter…i hadn’t really been prepared to say my official goodbye to the bookstore, but as i boxed up my things in the first editions room, which i’d called home since working there, i realized the time had come…i stopped by susie’s spot at the counter and told her that while working with her i’d said a lot of things that i didn’t mean, but that i’d also said a lot that i did…i got a smile and a giggle out of her, which isn’t easy to elicit from susie…

bobby’s and my’s big task for the day was to go to office depot to get office chairs and some peripherals required to get things up and running…bobby wanted to stop by his place and check on skyla before our office depot run, so i grabbed hollie’s keys from her (she works downstairs from me at broadstreet) so i could grab my stuff from her house…after a successful extraction we swung by bobby’s…skyla was pleased to see us and we played chase up and down the hall for a minute…while bobby put her back in her kennel i stepped outside, finally able to be outdoors for more than a minute now that i had my jacket…out in bobby’s yard was none other than the black cat from the previous evening…as bobby locked his door it crossed my path again…for a moment i was mortified, then figured that since it crossed from right to left this time (opposite of last night’s path) that the curse must have been negated…we had a good laugh about that and headed for the car…as i turned the key in my door i glanced up to see the cat cross my path yet again…i was right back where i started, and maybe a bit worse off since my only black cat crossing officially on the books was on friday the 13th itself…

i’m not a fan of large scale retail and office depot epitomizes everything about it that i hate…it’s just a huge fluorescent lit warehouse that’s loud, bright, and sterile…also, office equipment comes in 3 colors: black, white, and tan, so aside from the pens and highlighters the place was fairly devoid of emotion…nonetheless, bobby and i got down to business…power strips were found, printers contemplated…the only real fun was the office chairs…i’m amused and startled at the site of office and home mockups within stores…one of the scariest memories i have (and this isn’t a joke, silly as it sounds, it really bothers me still) is of being 6 or 7 years old and and wandering into the bed department at McRae’s in the Metrocenter Mall…the mock ups of intitmate little bedrooms (especially the faux windows with the lighted, opaqued backing) really freaked me out…i think i imagined that people had to sleep there every night, in bedroom stacked against bedroom, with windows that looked out only into a milky white nothing…

anyways, back to chair shopping…i walked into 15 to 20 made up offices and proceeded to sit in every chair…i did this throughout the department…sit, stand, move 1 chair over…sit, stand, etc…i’m sure it looked fairly absurd because it felt very absurd doing it…but i didn’t want to miss a chair…this was a piece of furniture i was probably going to use more than any other (including my bed) for a good while, so i wanted to get it right…i presented my vote to bobby, he presented his…after some deliberations and a call to home base the decision was made…the chair was chosen…mission accomplished…

after chair choosing bobby and i were both pretty worn out…the whole shopping endeavor had taken longer than we thought it would and our environs were wearing thin on us…checking out took a while and was a bit of a pain, so by the time that we were walking out the door it felt like we were coming up for air after being underwater for just a bit too long…and here is about where the day got the weirdest…bobby and i walk out of office depot…i look up into the gloom, adjusting my eyes to the full spectrum of natural light…and as my eyes adjust they are staring straight at a flock of over 100 seagulls…no shit…a flock of seagulls in the office depot parking lot (i asked bobby if he saw them too…he did), the mass circling and cawing while a few rogues dropped to the pavement to scavenge or possibly check license plates trying to decide what wrong turn they took…seeing one or two gulls around jackson isn’t uncommon, but a flock that big is very out of place…the deck was reshuffled in that parking lot, no doubt about it…

to be continued, yet again…


Uncategorized — d-ashes on February 27, 2004 at 10:43 am

just a quick note to say hello…world is busy busy as usual…took my cousin sarah to mardi gras last weekend and had a blast with steve, chuck and the rest of the Louisiana crew…NOTICE: collective meeting this sunday (29th) @ flashback at 6 pm, which will then roll over into an oscar party…try to make it!!! i know i got some make up to do on posts and pics…6 days of rain, pt. 2 is almost done…should be up this weekend…


Uncategorized — d-ashes on February 17, 2004 at 12:59 pm

okay, this is sillier than what my favorite song is, but wiredNews is reporting that webMonkey is closing it’s virtual doors…aside from the fact that their name mentions ‘monkey’, which is by far my favorite animal, these geekCats taught me many a lesson about web design…i really hate to see them go…

six days of rain, pt. 1

Uncategorized — d-ashes on February 16, 2004 at 2:01 pm

‘Riding backwards this wooden horse,
I’m about to gallop through the void
Would you seek to trace me?
Ha! Try catching the tempest in a net.’

sunday morning brought a magic time between sleep and waking…the realization was maybe a moment or hours long, i’m not sure…it was the understanding that chaos is my god/drug/everything/nothing/blessing/curse and at this clarified moment, i knew these things within the subatomic part of me that was formed in the beginning of time, understood with senses beyond tone, sight, smell or touch…the last 6 days had been a mainlined revival, a veritable baptism in living that i found myself, after an exceptional all night valentine’s party, arising from on sunday morning, sharing a (thankfully) large bed with mattie, amy clay (who at some point the previous evening had decided she no longer needed her clothes and has spent the remainder of the time wrapped only in a fur blanket, (if you don’t know amy clay, this is nothing surprising, it’s SOP)), jill, and mattie’s rottweiler sue, who is a boy…all in good clean fun, mind you, but boy was IT FUN…

days (1) monday – (3) wednesday:
gloom descended on most of mississippi in the form of a continual rain and low, still, oppressing clouds…with the high pressure system came one of my attacks of acute random seasonal affective disorder (self diagnosed)…a lot of things seemed weird, wrong and out of place…i could feel the discord in me also in many people and things around me…at times i could frame a view without something in it i recognized and it made me feel like i was in ireland again, which was an interesting displacement…the world within and without trudged on, but ever so fucking slowly…

(4) thursday:
my mood lightened a bit but damn it was still cloudy and rainy…the rain kept the same tempo for about 2 days, a steady drizzle, and i was impressed that it could keep the same cadence for so long…thursday night i took bobby home after our store meeting…we kicked it with his daschund puppy skyla (short for the XTC album ‘skylarking’) and played his drums and he gave me the low-down on some nice electronic music…before i left i stuck around long enough to help him change the tire on his car…while doing so a black cat watched us idly and after commenting on how it would be just my luck to have a black cat cross my path the day before friday the 13th the cat did…though 13 is my lucky number (gotta be lucky for someone, right?) i registered the portent…after getting bobby’s tire changed i jump over a couple of blocks to hollie and brian’s to help ‘bow’ invitations…this was my initiation into the bride’s side of marriage preparation…all my previous marriage ritual involved getting groom’s drunk and taking them to strip clubs, so this was a slight change of pace…the event was carried off in true hollie fashion…she was the only girl there and she, brian, ken, and i bowed invites, drank, and had a fine time planning a trip to a fortune teller who lives and works on hwy 51 just south of hazlehurst…then we were off to martins for 80’s night, where i ran into jen, casey and natalie all done up for some 80’s style partying…i have some rather jaded opinions on recycled culture, but i guess every culture does it, though the american version and it’s current fixation with the 80’s strikes me as odd…of course, having lived through the entire 80’s i guess i have a different perspective than all these young hipsters who dig the decade with so much fervor…

to be continued…

my favorite song…

Uncategorized — d-ashes on February 11, 2004 at 11:44 am

ok, this is a silly post, but the other day casey asked me what my favorite song was…and i was stumped for a good part of the day, and wasn’t even sure i had a favorite song, until it hit me…it’s one that i don’t listen to that often but i think it has some of the most beautiful lyrics and is poignant without being heavy, both word and tune wise…so without further ado…

This Must be the Place (Naive Melody)
The Talking Heads

Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb – born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It’s ok I know nothing’s wrong . . nothing

Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you’re standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up and say goodnight . . . say goodnight

Home – is where I want to be
But I guess I’m already there
I come home – she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can’t tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time
Before we were born
If someone asks, this where I’ll be . . . where I’ll be

Hi yo We drift in and out
Hi yo sing into my mouth
Of all those kinds of people
You got a face with a view
I’m just an animal looking for a home
Share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me till my heart stops
Love me till I’m dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head Ah ooh

I’m specifically big on the live version from ‘Stop Making Sense’ which I’m going to risk imprisonement to let you download

Collective Thoughts

Uncategorized — d-ashes on February 10, 2004 at 8:01 pm

I have regularly joked that I am married to Jackson. I think it was the recollection of those oft-spoken vows “For richer or poorer, for better or worse, for sickness and in health” that first led me to make the claim, as the city has afforded me all of those scenarios and many more. And it’s true, I have given this town more lee-way in my life than I allow many things. After spending four years of college here, I left for two years. For one and a half of those years I could only think about coming back. Residing in Brookhaven at the moment, I don’t even technically live in Jackson, but am even now plotting my return.

I love Jackson for its people, mainly, who are some of the dearest, most interesting, and fun people that I have grown to know. I love it without reserve in spite of the sometimes overwhelming hatred, ignorance, and apathy it can exhibit. I have to face the fact that as much as I despise those traits, it is a part of the recipe that makes this city such an impassioned and unique place to be. The city is in my blood and I am, quite frankly, an addict.

So when Jess contacted me about starting something (and that’s all we knew it to be at that point, ‘something’, we truly had no idea what we were doing, and still don’t sometimes) with Jen, Casey and herself I jumped right in, pleased to find that there was a group of people with the same city pulsing through their veins that were ready to throw the dice purely on the energy and excitement that they each felt individually. These people wanted action and were willing to fling themselves off the cliff just to see what happened, with no apparent concern that they may not soar.

Three weeks, a couple of Mexican and pizza dinners, and two meetings at Flashback later, I can only look up and marvel that the strides that have been taken. We have never made a mission statement or defined a goal and right now I don’t even see the need to. Gazing over the crowd of people that gathered for our second meeting at Flashback Sunday night I felt that the only personal goal I had set for our group had been accomplished already. People were meeting people. People with certain interests met other people with the same interests. People with completely different interests found some common ground that united them with others. And most of all, throughout the room, I got the distinct impression that every last person was there because they CARED and realized that caring was all that was necessary to start getting something done for the greater good of our community.

As I said in a previous Collective-related email, the sum of our energy is so much greater than its parts. I am a firm believer in the power of entropy and that’s what a lot of what Collective is all about for me, personally. If nothing else it creates the active possibility for change. If the last month has been any indication of the scale of those possibilities, then I am incredibly excited to have the chance to share in the experience.

So what is Collective (remembering now that this was the question this whole missive was supposed to answer)? Honestly, I don’t really know. I guess community/arts group is a good term, but really, there is no definition. It is itself as it exists at any given moment; its success or failure mandated only by what people are willing to give to it. What it was this last Sunday I found beautiful and exciting and cannot imagine it’s future incarnations proving any less fabulous as long as people care and are willing to show that they do.

Collective’s First ‘Big’ Event is Scheduled for March 11th, 2004
Email me to get on our mailing list to keep up to date on that and other events

goodbye levon…

Uncategorized — d-ashes on February 7, 2004 at 10:30 am

jackson and all the blues loving community has lost a great man…levon lindsey, who was the house singer at the now defunct subway blues lounge and an old school regular at local blues clubs all around the city died of a heart attack on wednesday…i find myself sitting here wishing that i had a chance to hear him sing one more time…with that being unattainable, thanks for the memories, levon…if i were to ever have a soundtrack to jackson you’d be the man on point…

Next Page »