"…and not for five minutes will I be distracted from the wonder…"

strathnavern predicts the now()

Uncategorized — d-ashes on July 30, 2004 at 6:44 pm

Taurus (April 20 – May 20 )
This is the week you finally get that Frisbee off the roof. Stop signs are for suckers. Your desire for change will be replaced by intermittent flatulence. Avoid nouns and verbs only. Reward yourself with former Uncle Uncle and Son Volt lead man, Jay Farrar, at Hal & Mal’s Friday night at 8:00.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Don’t let zoning or tax laws prevent you from attaining your dreams. Forget that fight you had with Skip Stevenson; it’s not worth the Liquid Paper. Write a letter to yourself and chill it in a Jello salad. Take hold of the situation and hit the Taylor Grocery band at George St. Saturday.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Attend the rodeo. Don’t let anybody tell you how to breakdance. Your inner child is telling you to stick with the sombrero. For the sake of your close friends and loved ones, buy a beach ball and fill it with buttermilk. Break free with the Senators Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

Strathnavern Dunkheld-Fowles IV, Esq. (Ret.)

P.S. Despite popular perception, Dale Danks cannot dunk a basketball from the free throw line. However, he has a crème brulee that can turn goat piss into gasoline.

P.P.S. Why must you continue to confuse Woody Allen and Woody Assaf.

P.P.P.S. You look like you could use a full body massage.

birds in flight…

Uncategorized — d-ashes on July 30, 2004 at 8:08 am

tate over @ shockingbird just rolled out a new site design…it’s a table-less layout utilizing div/css…very swanky, clean, and quick…i’m envious…

9/11 Commission Report and New Media + more…

Uncategorized — d-ashes on July 27, 2004 at 11:48 am

wired has a great article on how new media has gobbled up the 9/11 Comission Report and distributed it…very interesting read…

on a different note…
this is one of the funniest strongbad emails i’ve seen in a while (probably since the homestarmy one…)…these require flash, and be sure to look for easter eggs hidden in the text on-screen @ the end…

the arising…

Uncategorized — d-ashes on July 23, 2004 at 4:22 pm

hadn’t heard much out of strathnavern in a while…rumor has it he was up in oxford approving designs for a new tattoo that rasta ron was drawing up for him (a little dumpster diving by the guy manning the a&w desk up there yielded something about the tazmanian devil battling the road runner)…but fear not, he’s back with the cure..

Dear Derriere,
I owe you an apology. This stationary phase is most lamentable. I feel that it is requisite that something be done to remedy this neglect. Undoubtedly some jostling, gyrating, and oscillating would prove beneficial for both us. Do you have any suggestions for Friday night? I was hoping that we could rendezvous harmoniously in an effort to put this period of inactivity behind us [*cough*].

Most Notably,

Dear Brain,
Your reaching out was most welcomed. I was beginning to think that you and the left tibia…well, never mind. But I think we could get the old routine going again Friday at Martin’s for The Vamps. Their laid back grooves tend to crescendo into fever pitch inspiration; for me that is. But who am I kidding, you’ll be bobbing right with me. I’ll be sure to get in touch with the foot that taps, and you know liver will be down. Good to hear from you, old bean.

A thousand thanks,


-Gout Temptation? Hmm, probably not. Gundog Tantrum? Nah.
-Hey, what’s up?
-Nothing, I’m just trying to come up with as many combinations of “G” and “T.”
-Well, you know that pair that plays acoustics after Pub Quiz? Yeah, Scanlon and…uh, the other guy. Yup, their full band is playing Julep this Saturday. And they’re called the GT’s. Problem is, I don’t know what the hell it stands for.
-I see. Maybe it’s, Gangrenous Theodore. I doubt it. What about Gradual Tar-baby. Not likely. Or Gringo Toothpaste? Are you nuts? It’s probably Griddle Tit. Gibraltar’s Tetherball? Geriatric Typhoon? Gluteus Trumpet?
-Jeez, I hope not.


I was thinking about something the other day. Is there a dumber name for a sports franchise than the Sports? Well that’s what the geniuses in Shreveport approved. Holy shit, spend *ten* minutes on developing a name. Well regardless, somebody’s brother-in-law got a check for that one. But feel free to vent your beer-soaked puzzlement at the poor bastards that have to wear this lemonade-stand attempt at branding this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at Smith Wills. Just to get you started, Sports not only rhymes with shorts, but it is also the title of a grotesquely successful Huey Lewis album.

Strathnavern Dunkheld-Fowles IV, Esq. (Ret.)

P.S. Despite popular perception, William Winter did not regularly appear on Black Gold incognito. However, claims of his administration being nothing but a party held true.

P.P.S. Why must you continue to confuse Richard Attenborough and Richard Simmons.

P.P.S. A harvest’s worth of persimmons would prove a fair trade for shrub-perched glances of Lady Matilda’s next zealous turn on the yard swing.

six days of rain, pt. 3

Uncategorized — d-ashes on July 15, 2004 at 5:54 pm

six days of rain, pt 3 (mile marker 51)
feb. 15th, 2004

the sun is back on sunday
breaking out
in a city wide grin
as i pass the power station on the stack
the light illuminating downtown
in some holy crown that leaves me awed
after a week of clouds and wet

and i’m giggling @ the mistakes
that perfection makes
those jokes that only gods know the punchlines to
and i’m wondering if the music
will sync with the blinking lights of invisible towers
on the way south
to the quiet side of myself

i hit 55
and there’s the feeling that i’m shedding time

the road is now my clock

today’s mile marker is 51
and when i pass it i remember
to pop up over myself
and find where the intersection
of me and now has put my thoughts

and what i’m thinking is that
i want to sit somewhere and recall with you
the pieces that are the sum of our experience
and then crush them into fractions
scatter them the world over
and smile @ you
not knowing a thing about you,
or me, or us


six days of rain, pt. 1

another summer song…

Uncategorized — d-ashes on July 12, 2004 at 4:51 pm

ahhh..what a weekend…at least once a summer i try to take a 3 day vacation up in oxford to see lucky and bear and have some good lazy southern small town fun…it’s somewhat a loosely observed memorial holiday for the 2 months that i lived in oxford the summer that i graduated from college, where i quickly learned that it is possible for me to be lazier than i already am…needless to say that stay didn’t last very long, but i now consider it a 2 month senior trip, and what a trip it was…

i got to oxford on saturday afternoon and not finding lucky @ home, left a note then headed for murff’s…after a couple of beers and a game of darts lucky and i found each other and we were off to tom and beth anne’s house for tom’s birthday party…and what a fine party it was…i got to meet some new writers, neal walsh and matthew brock (who is coming to lemuria for blue moon iii in august) and see some great ones that i hadn’t visited with in a while…i spent a lot of the evening with suzanne hudson and joe formichella talking baseball and alabama…tom’s good friend david wright was also in town and barry hannah and jere hoar both were there as well…tom had the croquet court in prime shape and after he gave us a reminder on the rules neal, matthew, and i had 3 spirited, keg beer infused games…shish kabobs were the culinary fare for the evening and they did not dissapoint, nor did the red velvet cake for tom’s birthday…

saturday’s party was mighty fine and i was looking forward to a country ride with lucky on sunday afternoon but other plans awaited…after having brunch @ proud larry’s (where we got to bug ashleigh @ the bar) we stopped back by tom and beth anne’s to pick up my prized LSU hat, which i had somehow neglected to depart with earlier that morning…i certainly trust tommy with my favorite lid, but you can’t be too careful with your prized LSU hat in oxford, especially after last year’s game…what began as a hat retrieval turned into tommy’s birthday party, take 2…he and david were out on the patio finshing off the previous evening’s libations, so after getting my hat securely on my head we stuck around and had a couple of beers and shot the shit on authors, books, movies, and football…the next thing i knew there was another round of skish kabobs on the grill and a no-holds-bar doubles badminton tournament in full effect…whoever wasn’t playing got the privilege of talking and swinging with claire on the swing set…the sun was out, the breeze was blowing, the shuttlecock flew true, and all was well with the world…

every now and again i try to replicate the wondrous feeling that is a lazy social sunday in oxford here in jackson, but it just isn’t the same…i can’t really describe it save to say that when you wake up in oxford on the right sunday morning, you feel your first heartbeat out of sleep and it rings as clear and as perfect as a fine bell, and you are in harmony with the entire place and its people for the rest of the day…

we were in the middle of another badminton contest, tommy and i versus lucky and david i believe, when beth anne called time-out for home-made peach pie…and it was QUITE the pie, chock full of tasty peach slices with a dollop of rapidly melting ice cream on the side…beth anne had already earned her ‘hostess with the mostest’ stripes for all the great food she’d fed us the whole weekend, but the pie put her in the hall of fame for many summers to come…i don’t think i can ever play badminton again unless i know there’s peach pie and ice cream waiting in the wings…it would be disrespectful to sunday’s memory, i’m afraid…

after pie it was time for tommy’s tennis date and claire’s swimming lesson, so lucky and i met up with ashleigh and went over to a friend of theirs pool for a quick dip…it was a fine way to spend the end of the day, and sealed the deal on one of the best weekends i’ve ever spent with our friendly neighbors in north mississippi…

the mixture is sticky…

Uncategorized — d-ashes on July 6, 2004 at 12:41 pm

willieG / ‘enhanced mixture’ has his site up and running…go check it out for some of the most cutting edge work coming out of jack-town’s artistic community…

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