Taurus (April 20 – May 20 )
This is the week you finally get that Frisbee off the roof. Stop signs are for suckers. Your desire for change will be replaced by intermittent flatulence. Avoid nouns and verbs only. Reward yourself with former Uncle Uncle and Son Volt lead man, Jay Farrar, at Hal & Mal’s Friday night at 8:00.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Don’t let zoning or tax laws prevent you from attaining your dreams. Forget that fight you had with Skip Stevenson; it’s not worth the Liquid Paper. Write a letter to yourself and chill it in a Jello salad. Take hold of the situation and hit the Taylor Grocery band at George St. Saturday.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Attend the rodeo. Don’t let anybody tell you how to breakdance. Your inner child is telling you to stick with the sombrero. For the sake of your close friends and loved ones, buy a beach ball and fill it with buttermilk. Break free with the Senators Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.
Strathnavern Dunkheld-Fowles IV, Esq. (Ret.)
P.S. Despite popular perception, Dale Danks cannot dunk a basketball from the free throw line. However, he has a crème brulee that can turn goat piss into gasoline.
P.P.S. Why must you continue to confuse Woody Allen and Woody Assaf.
P.P.P.S. You look like you could use a full body massage.
0 Comments »
No comments yet.