"…and not for five minutes will I be distracted from the wonder…"

Strathnavern: THIS CAN’T BE YOGA

Uncategorized — d-ashes on February 3, 2005 at 1:24 pm

Since my last correspondence was in early November, some of you may have been
under the impression that I was hibernating. Well, that’s just silly. But I’ll
tell you who has been sleeping through the cold months, the minotaur. And since
it’s been awhile since we’ve all seen the guy, this would be a good time to discuss
how to handle him when he does emerge.

Things the minotaur is useful for:

  • Opening that jar of pickled okra
  • Moving appliances
  • Vacuuming
  • Finishing a crossword puzzle
  • Rim Job
  • Writing thank-you notes
  • Changing a diaper

Things the minotaur is not useful for:

  • Washing items in the delicate cycle
  • Minding a conveyor belt
  • Bridge
  • Paying a tab
  • Whitewater rafting
  • Knowing when to step away from the salad bar
  • A yo-yo

Subjects to avoid while in the company of the minotaur:

  • The designated hitter
  • The fact that the left horn is just a little shorter
    than the right horn
  • He takes his Reuben without sauerkraut
  • Chester A. Arthur’s plummet to obscurity
  • Hats
  • Vermeer’s use of light can be more dramatic than Turner’s use of color
  • Cincinnati

 

THURSDAY
Barry Leach Quartet @ 8 in Hal & Mal’s
Unbelievable, yet laid back, Yazz guitar. That’s right, I said Yazz.
Digital Bill Murray (aka somebody spinning Cds) @ Red Room @ 10
Usually drink specials on Thursday

FRIDAY
Tishomingo @ George Street
Melodic Rock of the Southern Persuasion

SATURDAY
TransAmphetamine @ Red Room
The artist formerly known as the current incarnation of Fling Hammer
Opening for King Elementary

TUESDAY
Pub Quiz
Ride the snake

Strathnavern Dunkheld-Fowles IV, Esq. (Ret.)

P.S. Despite popular perception,
Wink Martindale doesn’t have a tail

P.P.S. I’m pretty sure Love American Style
was an innocuous 70’s TV show and not a night club in Lisbon

P.P.P.S. It seems my tie tack has accidentally submerged
itself in the depths of your bouffant

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