"…and not for five minutes will I be distracted from the wonder…"

PrettyFakes.com

Uncategorized — d-ashes on March 27, 2005 at 6:29 am

Gorjus and Jaxxie Glam came over yesterday for our planned
technology/margarita exposition. After brunch we were supposed to sit
down and get Gorjus’ new blog, PrettyFakes, up and running but after
comparing the predicted weather (big bad storms) with the actual
weather (sunny and warm with pollen clouds swirling) we figured we
better skip straight to the margaritas. Which were quite tasty if I do
say so myself. And after watching the evening’s basketball games with
Ryan and Andy popping in to visit, also afforded me the bed time of
about 9:45 pm, which therefore afforded me the waking time of about
2:45 am.

So I spent the rest of the night/morning actually putting up PrettyFakes. And here it it is, www.PrettyFakes.com. It’s powered by WordPress,
which I’ve never used before and really like a lot for its ease of
customization and straightforward code. We haven’t done any visual
work, but the complete Gorjus archive is there, replete with cartoons
that were long lost on Catoptric. So it’s 6:30 on Easter Sunday morning and I think I’m going to commemerate with the last Budweiser left in the fridge. Cheers.

Weekender (margaritas tomorrow)

Uncategorized — d-ashes on March 25, 2005 at 12:58 pm

Wow. It’s been a busy week. Lots of stuff going on. Just wanted to drop
a note to let anyone/everyone know that Dave McCarty and I are hanging
out at my place tomorrow (Saturday) afternoon putting together his new
blog. We’re afraid it may be too easy a job by itself so we’re going to
make it a challenge by liberally inhaling margaritas at the same time
(hopefully with sexy results). So I’m just going to turn the whole
thing into an impromptu party of sorts. Come by if you like. Bring booze and
something to throw on the grill if you’re hungry.

Parade Eve

Uncategorized — d-ashes on March 19, 2005 at 11:52 am

I’ve been going to shows @ Martin’s for 8/9 years and last night I saw my best one ever. The Album Leaf
completely blew me away. You just don’t get to see many ‘indie-electro’
bands in Jackson and it was cool to see a 4 man band with keyboards and
laptops in front of 3 of them, though they each played analog
instruments at some point also. The songs, off the new album In a Safe Place,
were fantastic. Composed of delicate melodies and intricate rhythms
(both sampled and live), you could definitely hear the influence of Sigur Ros and Mum, whom Jimmy LaValle recorded the album with in their studio
in Iceland. And while I sometimes consider video shows that accompany
live bands a distraction to make up for music that is a bit to mild for
a live performance, The Album Leaf’s video show melded nicely with the music and was a good compliment.

I
got to talk with most of the band after the show and they were quite
polite. Jimmy LaValle gave me the lowdown on some of his favorite music
venues in Reykjavik though he said the place is so small and has so
many good bands that you’ve really got to work to not see good music
while you’re there.

For
as good as the show was, it was book ended by some disgusting displays of
malice, violence, ignorance and drunken stupidity on the part of some
of the jackasses that come out of the wood work for today’s St. Paddy’s
Day Parade and clog all my friend’s and my favorite local haunts.

When
I arrived for the show at Martin’s I parked between the Pearl Street
overpass and the Old Capitol to avoid what was certainly a cluster fuck
on the portion of Commerce Street not yet closed for parade
festivities. There was a fence up but it was 11:15 or so and I was
pretty sure any official function was over so I just slipped through
the fence to cross Commerce and head in to Martin’s.

No sooner
am I through the fence and I’m accosted by what I can only politely
describe as a highly effeminate and intoxicated elf (the guy couldn’t
have been over 5 feet tall) and a car wreck of a woman in the standard
trailer trash garb that the occasion warrants (though she didn’t really
look like she was dressing down). The guy completely flew off the
handle, said he was security and demanded five bucks. A quick once over
showed he was wearing a shirt that did say security and had some sort
of official looking badge hanging from a lanyard around his neck, but
his demeanor certainly wasn’t that of a security guard. I figured,
though, that if there was still a party going on under the tent on
Commerce and I’d jumped the fence that what the hell, I’ll just pay 5
bucks and no problem. He and the woman were getting quite belligerent
and I was in a hurry to make sure I wasn’t missing any of the band so I
gave the guy 5 bucks, told him he was acting like a bitch and hurried
on over to Martin’s.

Once I actually got to the tent, though, I
realized there was absolutely nothing going on there and I think ‘Fuck,
that little shit head and his fag hag friend hustled me.’ I’m pissed,
but it’s just 5 bucks, and I don’t want to miss the band, so I try to
forget about it. I get into Martin’s and the opening band hasn’t even
started yet, so with some time to kill I figure I’ll go find this guy
and get my money back. I’m still not 100% sure he’s not some type of
event security so when I find him (and he’s sitting at the same spot
waiting for someone else to do the same thing I did) I take the
calm/collected approach and tell him I’m not trying to cause a scene
but he took 5 bucks from me to admit me into NOTHING. He gets quite
defensive and says ‘Come on, we’re going to talk to secuity’. Which is
fine by me, but also confirms to me that he isn’t security at all. So
we walk down the long elevated sidewalk that fronts Hal and Mals. But
instead of heading for the sheriff’s deputy at the front of the tent he
and his bitch friend turn into the Red Room, trying to ditch me. So I
follow him and tell him I’m going to get a cop, though I’m really not
planning on it, while he’s trying to put people between him and me.

So
again I say what the hell, it’s 5 bucks, the guys an ass, and I’m not
going to let him ruin my night and I’m worried again that the band is
getting ready to start. So I head BACK over to Martin’s, once again
trying to forget about the whole thing and kicking myself for not
paying more attention to the fact that the guy obviously wasn’t a
security guard to begin with. Back in the bar the band still
hasn’t started yet and though I’m beginning to get over the whole
thing, I’m kind of bored, so I figure I’ll at least see if I can fuck
with the guy some more, if only to kill some time. On my back across
Commerce Street I run into Charlie, the guy that runs Hal and Mals, who is standing around talking to a sheriff’s deputy. I
tell him that there’s some guy posing as a security guard taking money
from people and he doesn’t like it one bit. I describe the guy and
Charlie goes off to look for him. I stick around talking to the
sheriff’s deputy and he’s pretty bent out of shape about this guy as
well, as he was the guy guarding the fence I’d walked through and he’d
quit watching it at 9:30 when the street party had ended.

Charlie had been gone for 5 minutes or so and I figured he’d found something
more important to deal with so I ask the deputy that if I can point the
guy out will he give him a talking to? His response is ‘Hell no, I’ll
arrest him’. I tell him I’m not sure if I’m worried about all that, or
even getting my money back. At this point it’s just principles and the
fact that I don’t want this guy doing this to other people. As I turn
around to head to the Red Room to look for the guy, whaddaya know, I
see him right in front of me, some forty feet away, with his pink
pleather jacket clad, over made up bimbo buying beer from Jane Halpert
at one of the beer stations still open under the tent. So I point him
out and the deputy is on him in a flash. I figured I’d give him a
minute to talk to the elf alone so I stand there next to the hag with this
very large grin on my face and ask her ever so politely if I can buy
her a beer, sarcasm dripping from my fangs, at the same time noticing
that her jacket is emblazoned with a ‘Raspberry Queens’ logo. She’d
turned white and couldn’t really say much (and was kind of wobbling
also) so I headed over to join the deputy and my little elf friend.

With
the deputy on his case the guy’s turned into a whining, drunk midget
bitch and was trying to convince the deputy that logic dictates that I should
pay $5 as a penalty for jumping the fence even though the party was over and
there is no admittance fee. The deputy asks him who he works for and he
doesn’t have an answer, I get my money back and the deputy takes the
elf with him. So whaddaya know, the system actually works for you
sometimes.

A little poking around on Google today turned up
that the ‘Raspberry Queens’ are a SPQ Wanna-Be chapter from Maumelle,
Arkansas, so I was dealing with some tried and true hustlin’ rednecks for
sure.

From there on out I watched one Ole Miss frat boy after
another, so drunk they could hardly talk or stand, take lunging steps
through Martin’s shoving anyone in their path out of the way and
threatening to fight anyone who took offense. During The Album Leaf’s
encore Robert Anderson kicked one guy out of the front of Martin’s,
pushing him past the band, who was in full gear. Once Robert had gone
back to the bar the guy came back in and called a friend of his on his
phone about coming to meet him to ‘come kick some fucking nigger’s
ass’. This part he repeated a lot, and loudly. Loud enough that I heard
him over the band and so did the guitarist, who caught me glaring at
the guy and looked at me like ‘what kind of people are you’? I
apologized to him after the show, telling him we’ve got a plethora of
assholes down here. Jimmy LaValle laughed it off, saying, ‘Well, it’s a
bar’ but I felt embarrassed nonetheless.

After
the show I found
Jason Bronson, who was into the first 2 hours of his official 30th
birthday celebration. Martin’s was getting ugly, to the point that
Robert Arender wasn’t even comfortable, so Jason and I
high-tailed it out of there, passing a continuance of the fight that had
gotten the ‘yelling racial slur repeatedly into phone’ fellow thrown
out to begin with. We headed back to Bronson’s place, in the second
floor of the ‘The Dorm’ and listened to records, talked about his work
at
the PW and toasted his birthday til about 4 in the morning, which
included a listening of Neil Young’s On the Beach on vinyl, which I will maintain is the way it was meant to be heard.

And
I think that was enough St. Paddy’s Day for me this year and maybe for a while
more. I’m beginning to realize why a number of New Orlean’s
residents leave town during Mardi Gras. The things is, there is still an air
of gentility to most over drinkers in New Orleans. Not so in Jackson.
For every person with sense who takes the oppurtunity presented by the St.
Paddy’s Day Parade’s carnival atmosphere to act like a redneck
for a day, there seem to be 5 rednecks who consider it a license to act
like even bigger rednecks than they already are.

So I’m somewhat thrilled
that I have to work during the parade and will trade that mid-morning
drunken revelry for sitting alone in LemCom writing code and listening
to tunes. It will be odd to be out in Jackson @ 7 pm on parade day and
be a good 8 or 9 hours behind everyone else’s imbibing. I’m
probably going to skip going downtown altogether until late late and
instead go to the Pink Palace for what is likely the last crew
sanctioned party there. Canada and Tina are likely buying a house only
a block away from where Graham and I live and Duck is moving to
Atlanta, so the Palace’s run of being under friendly control will
likely end at 8 years. We’ll definitely send her out in style.

Oh, the beer I bought with my returned money? Delicious. There’s nothing like the taste of Budweiser AND justice.

Strathnavern: BAH BAH BLACK SHEEP, HAVE YOU ANY CHEETOS?

Uncategorized — d-ashes on March 16, 2005 at 5:43 pm

Today is a happy day. I am now Uncle Strathnavern Dunkheld-Fowles IV,
Esq. (Ret.). My sister gave birth to Brendan Patrick Dunkheld-Fowles
Halstead earlier this afternoon. He weighs 9 lbs. 8 oz. That would make him
an extremely large trout, a very small marlin, a $140 beef tenderloin, or
the world’s biggest crouton.
And since I have mastered unsolicited advice [*cough*], I’ve decided to
help the kid with some pointers that will make his early life a lot easier.

  • "Heads I win, tails you lose" actually works.
  • Punching through a pane of glass might emphasize your point, but it will
    leave a permanent scar.
  • If your buddy suggests diving fully-dressed-up into the pool outside of his
    bar mitzvah reception, he’s really not going to jump in with you at the
    count of three.
  • Don’t buy any Van Halen records made after Reagan’s 1st administration
  • Never tell your barber to leave it long in the back.
  • Gin can be your friend. It can also be a cruel temptress.
  • If you can pen something as masterful as "The Cockroach That ate Cincinnati"
    as a first grader, you’ll be alright.
  • As enticing as goalposts are, don’t try to swing from them
  • Writing "Vasco DaGamma is yo mama" in a state text book will lead to a
    lengthy, yet hilarious, grade-wide inquiry.
  • When a dare involves liquor, a solo cup, and no ice, don’t accept the
    challenge.
  • A stapler will effectively penetrate a thumb.
  • Chemistry teachers never like the response "R2D2" for a chemical formula.


WEDNESDAY

Willie Heath Neal @ The Red Room for FREE 10:30

The swearing and old-school country should mix well with Ladies’ Night

THURSDAY

The Vamps @ The Red Room for FREE 7:30

Prove that you can groove

FRIDAY

Album Leaf @ Martin’s

Classically-trained mellow minimalism from San Diego

Young Agent Jones @ Dons’

Tight power pop from Oktibbeha County

SUNDAY

Of Montreal
@ Martin’s

Aforementioned

MONDAY

The Winter Pagent
@ Martin’s

Impressive dramatic drone from Brooklyn

Bryan Ledford @ "George Street"

Rolling off the roots of roots

TUESDAY

Pub Quiz

Special guest co-host, Canada

Uncle Strathnavern Dunkheld-Fowles IV, Esq. (Ret.)

Thanks…

Uncategorized — d-ashes on March 16, 2005 at 12:59 pm

Thanks to everybody that braved the rain and came to the crew and my’s art opening. It was good to see everybody (especially Tate over @ shockingbird;
thanks for the plug, man) and we raised some money for Grace House. The show hangs until March 25th, so there is
plenty of time to come see it if you missed it. Remeber there is a
bigger/better Grace House benefit tonight @ Hal and Mal’s
put on by UnityMS.org. Knol and Duane came by the opening last night
and told me they had read the script and it looked to be an
entertaining and informative show.

I’ve been living under a rock for the last four days building
picture frames (my first time and I learned that it takes forever) and
haven’t kept up with news and going ons. Graham had to tell me
yesterday that Brookhaven resident Bernie Ebbers, former CEO of WorldCom, was convicted
on all charges relating to his role in the company’s accounting scandal. I
finally caught up on my news reading this morning and it was very odd
to see the picture of someone who I saw regularly at church for most of
my childhood splashed across all the nation’s newspapers. Tate was
working at WorldCom when that all went down and it was interesting to
hear his take on it. Such a mess, such a mess.

In other news, Living Better Electrically is slated to appear in the popular alternative musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch at the end of April.
Josh is Hedwig and the rest of the band is The Angry Inch. Through the
press release I learned that the musical is based on Plato’s Symposium,
a book that Lucky recommended to me two years ago that I really
enjoyed. It’s pretty much monologues by Plato and some of his friend’s
while they are sitting around drinking all night long talking on the
nature of love. It’s a great, short, thought provoking read.
Unfortunately the Hedwig shows are all slated to occur while I’m
supposed to be in Iceland for my birthday, so I hope somebody with some
good video skills is there to film.

Alright, I’ve rambled enough.
Thanks again to everyone that came to the show. If you missed it the
galleries will be on the website soon enough.

Strathnavern: CAT SMARTER,TALLER THAN PAUL WILLIAM

Uncategorized — d-ashes on March 10, 2005 at 7:03 pm

It may seem that today’s music industry is more ruthless than ever.
Kids are quickly exploited for their talents, only to be spit out and
instantly abandoned. Unfortunately, this is not a new phenomenon. One
such showbiz casualty was the UK boy-band Cupid’s Test Match. In the
summer of 1970, their single "Baby, My Wicket’s All Sticky" rose all the
way to #3 on the pop charts. However, within months, both public and
industry support tapered off dramatically. Now approaching the 35th
anniversary of their brief success we’ve caught up with the members of
CTM to see how they’re doing now.

[Starting in the upper left, and moving clockwise]

  • Reggie Sandifer was the first Jamaican-born barrister to serve at the
    Bailey. He now lives comfortably in Surrey with his wife and three
    children.
  • Peter Simms not only raises 30 head of cattle, but he became
    the 1982 Eating Champion of East Anglia for consuming 37 kidney pies at
    the Summer Exposition.
  • Although Harold Smythe was referred to as "The Wild One" in all the
    teen magazines, he’s moved back to Cornwall and now runs his family
    pub, the Pungent Trout.
  • Ian Tilton met an American girl while backpacking the continent. They
    married in 1977 and live in Saginaw, Michigan. During the winter months,
    he’s a free-lance Zamboni driver, and the rest of the year he unicycles at fundraisers and self-improvement seminars.
  • Lol Naughton never overcame his fear of spatulas, but he’s fared as the
    most popular birthday clown in all of Scunthorpe. He can reached for
    bookings at 02174 – 84380.
  • Robin Hayes finally gave into his obvious affections for co-manager Uli
    Rendenkov. They now own an aromatherapy parlor in Antwerp.
  • Pemberton "Pimsy" York , you may recognize as the younger brother of
    actor Michael York. Although he’s tried to make it to the big screen
    for over 30 years, he’s best known for, "Gadzooks, your hemorrhoid
    cream is capital!"
  • Nigel Eaglesmith is an apothecary in Cardiff. But most locals know him as the the man whose pig is adept at flute.
  • In 1980, Terrence Saxby and his wife Abigail started baking out of their
    kitchen in Swarston. Today, they have seven T&A Bakeries across the
    Midlands. They specialize in erotic cakes and their top seller is "William’s Surprise."
  • For twenty years, Eddie Beddingfield was New Zealand’s most popular
    rugby announcer. Retired, he still lives in Auckland where he basks in
    the fame of his broadcast catchphrase, "Stomp on me tip, he scored!"
  • For a while, Ethan Tolhurst was a successful engineer in Wolverhampton.
    But last anyone heard, he fell on hard times trying to develop a
    motorized tennis racket fueled by chicken droppings.
  • As the only one contractually entitled to royalties, Archibald Fearnly
    re-invested his earnings into the production of the Betamax. Although he
    lives in a spacious estate outside Croydon, other recent prospects have
    not fared as well. Namely, Samantha Fox’s breakfast cereal.

FRIDAY
Living Better Electrically & King Elementary @ Martin’s
Feel free to cut the sleeves from your favorite ironic t-shirt

SATURDAY
The Moils @ Julep @ 10:30
for FREE That’s right, the triumphant return of the best band from
Wilhurst St., The Moils. Now with (some) lyrics! Although it’s only
been since June, due to popular demand, we’ve decided to play another
gig. For those that don’t know, or can’t remember back that far, The
Moils are Chris Goodwin, myself, Michael Laskin, Jose Simo, and Aven
Whittington. We promise an appltini-dropping assault on your derriere.

MONDAY
Of Montreal @ Martin’s
Mildly wacky, yet extremely tight pop from Athens, back for the attack.

TUESDAY
Pub Quiz
Feel the burn

Strathnavern Dunkheld-Fowles IV, Esq. (Ret.)

P.S. Despite popular perception, Burt Case is quite the break-dancer.

P.P.S. I’m pretty sure Jonathan Schell’s "The Time of Illusion" is not about Doug Henning.

P.P.P.S. No, no, no. Don’t stop churning on my account.

John Dufresne

Uncategorized — d-ashes on March 9, 2005 at 7:09 pm

John Dufresne
came to the bookstore this evening and I became an instant fan. John
has been a big favorite of Bobby’s for a long time and I quickly saw
why. His stuff is just riotous. Here’s a streaming mp3
of the entire reading. I’ll only leave it up uncut for a day or so as
it is pretty big. Pardon the hum, didn’t have time to run noise
reduction on it. Enjoy. It’s worth it.

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