"…and not for five minutes will I be distracted from the wonder…"

Strathnavern: CAT SMARTER,TALLER THAN PAUL WILLIAM

Uncategorized — d-ashes on March 10, 2005 at 7:03 pm

It may seem that today’s music industry is more ruthless than ever.
Kids are quickly exploited for their talents, only to be spit out and
instantly abandoned. Unfortunately, this is not a new phenomenon. One
such showbiz casualty was the UK boy-band Cupid’s Test Match. In the
summer of 1970, their single "Baby, My Wicket’s All Sticky" rose all the
way to #3 on the pop charts. However, within months, both public and
industry support tapered off dramatically. Now approaching the 35th
anniversary of their brief success we’ve caught up with the members of
CTM to see how they’re doing now.

[Starting in the upper left, and moving clockwise]

  • Reggie Sandifer was the first Jamaican-born barrister to serve at the
    Bailey. He now lives comfortably in Surrey with his wife and three
    children.
  • Peter Simms not only raises 30 head of cattle, but he became
    the 1982 Eating Champion of East Anglia for consuming 37 kidney pies at
    the Summer Exposition.
  • Although Harold Smythe was referred to as "The Wild One" in all the
    teen magazines, he’s moved back to Cornwall and now runs his family
    pub, the Pungent Trout.
  • Ian Tilton met an American girl while backpacking the continent. They
    married in 1977 and live in Saginaw, Michigan. During the winter months,
    he’s a free-lance Zamboni driver, and the rest of the year he unicycles at fundraisers and self-improvement seminars.
  • Lol Naughton never overcame his fear of spatulas, but he’s fared as the
    most popular birthday clown in all of Scunthorpe. He can reached for
    bookings at 02174 – 84380.
  • Robin Hayes finally gave into his obvious affections for co-manager Uli
    Rendenkov. They now own an aromatherapy parlor in Antwerp.
  • Pemberton "Pimsy" York , you may recognize as the younger brother of
    actor Michael York. Although he’s tried to make it to the big screen
    for over 30 years, he’s best known for, "Gadzooks, your hemorrhoid
    cream is capital!"
  • Nigel Eaglesmith is an apothecary in Cardiff. But most locals know him as the the man whose pig is adept at flute.
  • In 1980, Terrence Saxby and his wife Abigail started baking out of their
    kitchen in Swarston. Today, they have seven T&A Bakeries across the
    Midlands. They specialize in erotic cakes and their top seller is "William’s Surprise."
  • For twenty years, Eddie Beddingfield was New Zealand’s most popular
    rugby announcer. Retired, he still lives in Auckland where he basks in
    the fame of his broadcast catchphrase, "Stomp on me tip, he scored!"
  • For a while, Ethan Tolhurst was a successful engineer in Wolverhampton.
    But last anyone heard, he fell on hard times trying to develop a
    motorized tennis racket fueled by chicken droppings.
  • As the only one contractually entitled to royalties, Archibald Fearnly
    re-invested his earnings into the production of the Betamax. Although he
    lives in a spacious estate outside Croydon, other recent prospects have
    not fared as well. Namely, Samantha Fox’s breakfast cereal.

FRIDAY
Living Better Electrically & King Elementary @ Martin’s
Feel free to cut the sleeves from your favorite ironic t-shirt

SATURDAY
The Moils @ Julep @ 10:30
for FREE That’s right, the triumphant return of the best band from
Wilhurst St., The Moils. Now with (some) lyrics! Although it’s only
been since June, due to popular demand, we’ve decided to play another
gig. For those that don’t know, or can’t remember back that far, The
Moils are Chris Goodwin, myself, Michael Laskin, Jose Simo, and Aven
Whittington. We promise an appltini-dropping assault on your derriere.

MONDAY
Of Montreal @ Martin’s
Mildly wacky, yet extremely tight pop from Athens, back for the attack.

TUESDAY
Pub Quiz
Feel the burn

Strathnavern Dunkheld-Fowles IV, Esq. (Ret.)

P.S. Despite popular perception, Burt Case is quite the break-dancer.

P.P.S. I’m pretty sure Jonathan Schell’s "The Time of Illusion" is not about Doug Henning.

P.P.P.S. No, no, no. Don’t stop churning on my account.

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